Peacekeeper or  Peacemaker?

Craig A. Gorc

Sunday, July 22, 2001

 

 

 

Matt 5:9

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

 

 

 

I believe all of us long for authentic relationships marked by integrity and open communication.

We have all had relationships that are marked by hidden hostilities and unspoken hurts. But, unfortunately we don’t always want what makes for open honest communication and relationships. There is a work involved and RISK involved, and there is sacrifice involved.

 

Honesty is the key factor in this. It seems that we beliove only in theory that honesty is the best policy. When we stand face to face with someone peacemaking does not sound like such a great idea after all.

 

Most of us will do anything to avoid conflict. And we will do all in our power to “keep the peace”.

But, when people submerge their true feelings in order to preserve harmony, they actually undermine the integrity of the relationship. They buy the peace they are looking for, but it is only on the surface – underneath they are hurt and troubled: questions and hidden hostilities are waiting to erupt. It’s a costly price to pay for a cheap peace and it inevitably leads to inauthentic relationships.

 

We learn to develop relationships only on the surface level. No one says anything that is “unsafe”. You never discuss misunderstandings, reveal hurt feelings, air frustrations or ask difficult questions. Sure we have peace – but it’s a counterfeit peace, bought at the price of the relationships integrity characterized by safe and mature dialogue.

 

WE all desire to live a life that is free from conflict. However, everyday interaction and situations with fellow employees, roommates, classmates, parents, even children give us many instances for misunderstood dialogue, uncommunicated desires & mixed intentions.

 

IN time these relationships deteriorate. Feelings of love begin to die.

Relationships are built upon trust and open, honest communication. So, to not communicate a problem undermines the trust upon which this is built. This also speaks of our personal responsibility to care for and nurture our relationships.

 

The only answer is conflict. Not the kind that leads to war, but the kind that leads to resolution.

 

Jesus himself did not come just to keep peace, but to real peace, that he said will bring conflict. It will turn a father against in son and a son against his father. Even in Jesus case the path to true peace goes the road of conflict. Luke 12:53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law."

 

 

 

Guidelines to truth telling are found in…

Ephes. 4:15-16 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

NIV

Remember the vow that is made in a court of law? WE are to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Many times we shrink back from telling the whole truth. We will tell part of it, and try to get in and out as easily as possible.

 

¨       Ephes. 4:25-27 Eph 4:25-27 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

Putting off false hood means does not mean putting it on hold, but casting it off just as one would cast off an unwanted garment. Putting it away never to be taken up again.

 

 

Ephes. 4:29-32 Eph 4:29-32

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

 

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Steps in telling the truth…

1.      Identify the real obstacle

2.      Meet with the person face to face

3.      Make observations rather than sweeping generalizations or accusations

4.      Attempt to resolve – not destroy

5.      Don’t be long on truth and short on love

6.      Gentleness is the controlling temperament (gal. 5:22). This describes a person who is so in control of himself that he is always angry at the right time and never angry at the wrong time.

 

We can easily learn to settle with regrets about actions and learn to live with decisions that are inconsistent with our professed values. We allow our daily lives to speed us past the God we claim to worship leaving our devotional lives weak and spiritual disciplines lax. Our spiritual walk has a serious limp.

 

Truth hearing

James 1:19-20 Dear friends, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20Your anger can never make things right in God's sight.

 

1.      Don’t rush into denial, retaliation or rationalization

2.      Being “quick to hear” shows a readiness to listen

3.      “Slow to speak” a continual talker cannot hear what anyone else is saying & cannot hear what God wants them to hear. Could be God is using that person to tell you something.

4.     Slow to anger. Anger will close the mind to God’s truth. An argumentative/challenging attitude is not conducive to the humble reception of the truth.

 

There are people here, which before the day is over, will need to make peace with someone. Simply stated you’ve KEPT the peace for far too long & the day has come. It’s time to dig below the surface to the heart of what will bring the peace.

There are others here who need to make your peace with God. You have (in your own mind anyway) kept the peace with God. You come in the church building and it does NOT tumble in on top of you. You show up to church once in awhile just to “check in” with the “man upstairs”. In your own mind you have kept the peace with god by not trying to sin too much; not too many boo-boos on the books, only a few “white lies” to make things easier at home. But today you know that you have only tried to keep the peace with God an that there is no real peace. Only Christ can bring the peace that you are looking for – that is why he is called the Prince of Peace.